Individual Evolution – An Interview with Skorpio

Eibon: Greetings - and thanks for taking the time to answer these questions. Let's start off with some history - how old were you when you first got interested in BDSM - and what got you interested in the first place?

Skorpio: I started playing out BDSM games around age 4, as far as I remember, but probably earlier.

Of course I was not aware that was BDSM nor I was conscious of what I was doing: I just felt the desire to do and bear things from other child and they loved it as much as me, so we did it. I had BDSM experiences with dozen of children of both genders, some at school, some in the neighborhood, some on holyday. I especially loved humiliation games. And please, don’t think I’m talking about “lets play the Indians”. I am talking about be my dog, kiss my ass, get naked and pray me to have your clothes back but I will not gave them to you until you cry, give me your fav toy so I can break it in front of you, now we go and do that forbidden thing then I’ll tell parents it was you suggesting it and you will admit your fault and get punished, tie me and hit my butt with that stick as hard as you can and don’t stop until I cry, lets go in the cabin and take off our slips, then you’ll take mine and get out and I will have to remain inside all naked and ashamed as you play out in the beach with others, be my dog and lick the dirt under my feet – and many, many more or less complex other games I must admit I feel ashamed to remember.

BTW, some of the things I so naturally acted out at that age I have never been so brave to do again in my adult age. Too much shame, to much limits, I guess.

Eibon: You've been in the scene for quite some time, please tell Us about Your background.

Skorpio: I started to study sadomasochism around 12. First reading some couple- oriented sexual magazines, an Italian magazine called “duepiù” where I learnt all about ejaculation, orgasm, clitoris, couple talking, erotic imaginary, sexual safety and the like. There was I remember a “tell the doctor” feature with couples writing a psychologist their sexual troubles, and most of them concerned BDSM desires. Unbelievably, the psycho was an informed and intelligent one, and the answers were all about reciprocal discussion, acceptance, confidence and so on. That somehow forged my first intellectual attitude toward the matter.

Then around 15 years old I started drawing on my t-shirt bdsm explicit scenes and went to school with them on. That was a hit: all my female peers – even the top of the school – were all around me asking where I found them and how exciting the drawings were…

I published some of my drawings in a BDSM Italian magazine (the club) days after I get adult age (18) and then in a few months I started my first BDSM group.

Then around 25 internet started to kick asses and I get in the ring. The disclosure of mass desires and the chance to discuss personal matters without being identified pushed hundreds – and then thousands – out of the pit. I managed lots of different BDSM social ambient online, mailing lists, discussion groups, and finally I started BDSM Realm.

Eibon: What local groups in Italy have You been involved with?

Skorpio: Many and different. But I left the “clubbing parties” type many years ago. I have my own ideas about BDSM and how people live this chance. I personally consider the most common way of it a “teenage” approach. Searching partners, sexual arousal, measuring egos and the like. I truly think BDSM has much more to offer, if we go a bit deeper.

Eibon: You've made mention to Me in earlier conversations about traveling to several countries in Europe to attend BDSM events. Could You tell U/us about the various countries You've visited and how they differ in "style"?

Skorpio: Well actually I’ve been in a few ones: France, Greece, Austria, Germany, England. Moreover I saw only a little of those countries scenes and of course I can’t tell about their scenes in the complex, but there are some specifics I had the feel to sense. For example in England the BDSM have a very strong fetish and glam side, in Germany is far more common and there is a strongest link between sexual acts and bdsm play.

My little experiences about USA scene too gave me the idea of a wide scene with many different sides, and a peculiar attitude to deepen the pragmatic aspects of practices. How to use that whip, how to use candles, how to use that kind of rope and going on that way. Appreciable and interesting for sure, and a step up from the “find me a partner” attitude of many European groups, but still missing an important link in my opinion. That is, getting to an adult approach to bdsm.

That is, dividing the intimate, erotic aspects from the social, sharable aspects.

That is, exploring and valuing fetish and bdsm art, and not only in the dungeons.

That is, discussing the great evolutionary potential within the BDSM experience.

Eibon: In a prior interview ("Real BDSM") You made the comment that people who want to enjoy BDSM should not seek Masters nor disciples, and cautioned others to 'not take advice'. What personal experiences led You to give this advice?

Skorpio: Well no personal experiences, I never had a “teacher” into BDSM. Actually I love paradoxes. I loved the idea to “give the advice not to take advices”.

More seriously, the master / disciples relation is a natural way to communicate in many aspects of life, and erotic sphere does not differ on that. But getting into BDSM you should consider that the Dom/sub roles pose a specifically unbalanced relation. So enhancing it with the Master/disciples relation sounds odd to me. If not even dangerous: too many people with identity problems get into BDSM in search of a vicarious existence. And yes, they often love the thrill to be Mastering something or someone, given they are not used to master anything at all in their life. Actually my advice for people exploring Bdsm is: go slowly. Taste things, give yourself time to digest them.

Eibon: What do you enjoy most about the BDSM lifestyle?

Skorpio: The chance to individual evolution that those experiences offers.

Eibon: What do you enjoy least about the BDSM lifestyle? Skorpio: The waste of that chance into pathetic compensation of personality, commercial use, frustration cure and plain shortcut to find sexual partners.

Eibon: Please tell U/us what inspired You to create the BDSM Realm website, and what Your goals were with that. Skorpio: BDSM Realm is a BDSM huge webportal with many different areas including social networking and informative magazine. I shall say what makes unique BDSM Realm is the goal. There is no porn there at all, and little or nothing of self exhibitionism. But again, graphical aspects are cured and refined, its not a boring pure text site. There are funny areas, with games and humorous articles.

The goal was to be a source for ARTISTIC, EDUCATIONAL and INFORMATIVE aspects of BDSM. And yes, it worked and I loved it.

Eibon: You've authored two books on mindplay in Your native Italian. Will W/we ever see a translation of Your books?

Skorpio: I would love that. Not only because I think US public may find them interesting, but also because I would have less problems paying my bills. Unfortunately, as far as now, the rights for translation are in the hands of my Italian publisher and he does not seem very busy trying to sell them in US. If any US publishing house is interested, the publisher is Alberto Castelvecchi Editore.

Eibon: In one of Your articles on the Realm website You talked about hypnosis in a manner that indicates You don't think very highly of it. This is unusual to hear from someone that has authored books on mindplay. What led you to the conclusion that hypnosis isn't a good tool for BDSM use?

Skorpio: Hey, this one is tough!

Hypnosis is a controversial matter. I deepened many different use of it, in very different areas – from spygames to medical treatment, and the results are at least divisive.

As far as we discuss hypnosis as a interrogation tool or a medical therapy, I shall be cautious on my judgment. But when we get to bdsm, I have no doubts: I find it inadequate.

That is: if it really works, the hypnotized one will miss any ability to a valid consent. So we get out of BDSM and into abuse. And if it does not work, then we have a farce.

Eibon: What is it about BDSM that keeps you interested and engaged?

Skorpio: Well many things.

Most of all, the sexual interest. There is always a BDSM new situation, new condition ,new limit to explore. And they all give me the same thrill of the first one.

Then the continue chance to discuss who I am, what I want, why I want it and how far I want to go to get it. It’s a precise path of self- realignment. BDSM remembers me I am here and I am alive - realtime.

One thing I always get enchanted with is to see a beginners’ expression as she feel for the first time the powerful emotions of that game: flower blooming.

Again, after many different experiences and discussion I am still working on the relation between love and bdsm. Loving into bdsm is a fairy slippery matter, because love goes for equilibrium and bdsm goes for disequilibrium, love goes for unity and bdsm goes for separation between up and down, love goes for mutual cuddling, bdsm goes for one- way cuddling and one-way paddling, love goes for symmetrical expressions and bdsm goes for complementary expressions.

Eibon: Is there anything else You would like to add?

Skorpio: Sure:

When I’ll say three, you’ll forget all you have read there and you will run to buy one of my books.

One, two…
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